Life is not suppose to be fair

[Carol Anne Kincaid~Paradis]

There is a secret wisdom-of-the-ages that holds the key to breaking our cycle of self-imposed suffering. The secret wisdom is, "Life is not supposed to be fair." - jlh 

 This is not sad news. This is GLORIOUS news! Life is not broken. Nothing is wrong. God has not failed, died, or gone on vacation. The world is working perfectly. We just misunderstood. Somewhere along the way, someone got the idea that life was "supposed" to be "fair," and all the trouble started - expectation, disappointment, resentment, anger - a whole cycle of suffering that began with the belief that life is "supposed" to be "fair." If you still think that life is supposed to be fair, read National Geographic or watch Animal Planet. Humans are not exempt from the nature of life. We admit to our children at a fairly young age that the Tooth Fairy and Santa Clause are fairy tales. Why not prevent immeasurable suffering and confess to our children at that same age that life is not supposed to be fair?

Most of us believe that we have
been betrayed by someone outside of us -
in other words someone has done something to hurt us,
been dishonest or broken a promise made:
some trust in some concept was broken.
Indeed someone may have taken an action
that took only their needs into consideration,
they may have not followed through on a promise made,
and they may have not told you the truth.
But their actions have nothing to do with you
and have everything to do with them.
That's why no one can do anything TO you.
They can take actions that involve you that you may not like -
But you are not a victim, no way, no how.
- Sheri Rosenthal

 Trust: Can you trust and if so who?

Trust for me is one of the most fascinating human concepts. But before we proceed, it's important to agree on a definition of trust so that we can be on the same wavelength for our discussion together. Here's a common definition for you: To rely upon or place confidence in someone or something. Just to be clear - we created all our concepts including the idea of trust - and just like all concepts, there is no ultimate truth to them. Yet we constantly allow ourselves to be hurt, betrayed and upset because of our trust in concepts. Yes, you read that correctly, I am saying that no one can betray us - we can only feel betrayed and angry because of the agreements we place our trust in. So let's talk a little more about what that means.
Most of us believe that we have been betrayed by someone outside of us – in other words someone has done something to hurt us, been dishonest or broken a promise made: some trust in some concept was broken. Indeed someone may have taken an action that took only their needs into consideration, they may have not followed through on a promise made, and they may have not told you the truth. But their actions have nothing to do with you and have everything to do with them. That’s why no one can do anything TO you. They can take actions that involve you that you may not like - according to your point of view. But you are not a victim, no way, no how.
Here is the bottom line: People can only be trusted to do what either their belief system or their heart compels them to do. Every human either is operating from their heart-integrity or their fear-based ego-mind in any moment. Each of us operates this way until we have absolute awareness of what's driving us every moment of our life. No one is exempt from this fact - all of us can be kind and wonderful in one moment and hurtful in the next. Humanity is on a spiritual path so we can raise our consciousness and be fully responsible for which operating system we choose to be working from. That’s why we need to be forgiven for those moments when we fall asleep and put our lives on auto-pilot, allowing a limited and fearful program to take control of our lives.
If my partner for example, is having a relationship outside our marriage, it's because he believes something that's compelling him to take that action. His behavior has nothing to do with me at all. Yes, it has an impact on my life, but I understand that only my concept of marriage has been betrayed – not me, as I am not a victim. My concept of marriage may say perhaps, that my partner should be monogamous until death. We all have the best intentions when we make a promise – but then our internal dialogue has us taking actions that make us break those promises. So then, if my partner feels neglected or angry at me for some reason – he may justify their choice to have an affair so they feel better about themselves. That is fear speaking, not integrity. These actions tell me about the quality of my partner’s mental state not about their heart. That is why we can trust 100% that they will do whatever their mind commands if that is where they’re operating from.
We all like to think of ourselves as enlightened, kind beings. But until we work through all the fear-based beliefs of our ego-minds it is unlikely that we'll go through life without someone feeling betrayed by us or visa versa. That's because we're constantly expecting others to measure up to the ideals and concepts that we have in our minds – and this is not possible. We can only trust that people will do what they believe – NOT what we believe. Now that we clearly understand how we betray ourselves with concepts – perhaps we'll have more compassion for those we love when they do the same. Ultimately, we cannot place our confidence and trust in ideas and concepts, only in truth and love.

LOVE AND BLESSINGS