Room For Rent, Cheap.

Bacon and eggs walk into a bar.

The bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”

Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?

They each got six months.

After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table.

I needed a running start, but I made it!

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn’t see himself doing it.

Why don’t big cats play poker in the safari?

Too many cheetahs.

What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity?

It’s impossible to put down.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other "you stay here; I'll go on a head."

My next door neighbor couldn't pay her Exorcist bill so her Soul got repossessed.

Yesterday I started gardening...

I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

My wife is a big shopper,last week she brought home an Escalator.

I lived in a rough neighborhood. I asked the cop how far was it to the subway. He said I don’t know. So far no one has never made it.

My neighborhood is pretty rough. One man has had his windows broken on a regular basis. He lives not far from me, in fact, just a stone’s throw away.

Rough neighborhood! I remember the gang I hung out with:
Rocky" ..."Knuckles" ..."Scar-face"! And those were the girls!

I live in a rough neighborhood, where kids steal hub caps
From moving cars

Rough neighborhood. Some guys auctioned off a cop car,...... with the dog still in it.

My neighborhood was so rough, there was a fight in the street and a hockey game broke out.

I was brought up in the late 60s in Scotswood, Newcastle on Tyne - my Dad was a tail-gunner on a milk float.

My neighborhood was so tough our school newspaper had an obituary section.

My neighbors have a circular driveway. They can’t get out.